Family, the foundation of Rwandan society.
Growing up I was a loner kid. Most of my agemates played
football which I was not interested in. I was not interested in any common
sport, when my dad one day asked me what kind of sport I liked because it was
a repeated question, I lied to him that I liked basketball. One evening my mom
gave me two children's books, since then I cultivated the culture of reading and
it has been my favorite hobby since then. Reading also cultivated in me the love of
writing as I’m doing so.
Family plays a big role in one’s life, and one of the parents’
assignments is to prepare their children to be the next players in forming a
family which is the foundation of any society.
Rwanda recognizes the importance and role of families in
safeguarding cultural values. The concept of family generally goes beyond the
definition which conceives it as a group of people united by marriage, blood or
adoption, characterized by a common residence. In Rwanda, like almost
everywhere in Africa, family relationships extend beyond people having a common
residence; one must also include extended family members living outside the
household and who sometimes live far apart.[1]
The family is a universal and sacred institution and the
first unit of social relations. Usually formed by marriage, a family is the
core of a household, and it exhibits intrinsic sociocultural values. Rwandans
place high value on family and kinship as a means of continuing their culture
and customs. In Rwanda, the institutions of marriage, family, and kinship
developed over a long time. These institutions ensure the continuity
of the people’s culture and customs by passing them from one generation to the
next. The close relationship between family, clan, and lineage members laid a
solid background for the culture and traditions of Rwanda to survive and thrive
as well as adapt to changes and challenges. Since ancient time our society
operated on a patrilineal system, the Rwandan society had the inzu (hut or
household) as the core of kinship relations. An inzu consists of a husband,
wife, and children (the nuclear family) in addition to close relatives (the
extended family). The man maintains a strong influence as the head and unifier of
the family.[2]
Our constitution recognizes the family as an important
institution. Article 17 tells us as Rwandans that we have the right to marry
and found a family; The right to marry and found a family is guaranteed by law.
A civil monogamous marriage between a man and a woman is the only recognized
marital union.
No one can enter into marriage without his or her free and
full consent. Spouses are entitled to equal rights and obligations at the time
of marriage, during the marriage, and at the time of divorce.[3]
Article 18 talks about the protection of the family; The family, being
the natural foundation of the Rwandan society, is protected by the State. Both
parents have the right and responsibility to raise their children.[4]
The family is expected to have children, our constitution
recognizes them in article 19 their rights of protection; every child has
the right to measures of special protection by his or her family, other
Rwandans and the State, depending on his or her age and living conditions, as
provided for by national and international law.[5]
As a law-abiding country, we legislated the law Nº32/2016 of
28/08/2016 governing persons and family. I article 2 paragraph 20, it defines
the family, a group of persons related by kinship, law or marriage; it may
include parents, children, their descendants and in-laws.[6]
The law didn’t go far from what Rwandans define as a family in our cultural
perspectives.
With obstacles facing families in Rwanda, the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion introduced a home-grown initiative known as Umugoroba w’Imiryango (Family Evening Forum) with the main objective of building a resilient and safe family, whereby all family members play complementary roles in the advancement of family welfare, as well as in tackling family and parenting issues in the community. In this framework, the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion conducted trainings of trainers to strengthen the capacity of Umugoroba w’Imiryango committee members in order to enable them addressing issues that hinder the community.[7]
The Government of Rwandan has committed to place the family
at the center of development, and as a prerequisite to achieve equitable and
sustainable development for country at large. Rwanda put in place the ministry
of Gender and Family Promotion as a Central Government institution mandated to
ensure strategic coordination of the implementation of national policies,
strategies and programs regarding the promotion of family, gender and
children’s rights’ protection to facilitate their integration in the
socio-economic and political context of Rwanda. It plays a leading role in the
implementation of gender agenda.[8]
Within the ministry, there is the Directorate General of
Family Promotion and Child Protection. The Family Promotion and Child
Protection Directorate oversees all interventions related to family promotion
and child protection. The Directorate develops all policies related to family,
fighting Gender Based Violence (GBV), violence against women and girls,
domestic violence and violence against children in all its forms. It also
oversees the coordination of different stakeholders who intervene in the areas
of family promotion and child protection.[9]
All these efforts show the value the family has in the Rwandan society, from
legal perspectives to institutional establishment so as to ensure the
protection of the family. Apart from governmental organizations, also
non-governmental organizations specializing in family wellbeing promotion
exists in different forms like HAGURUKA.
Family being at the hearts and minds of legislators and their
collaborators; consultative meetings take place to find solutions to the
existing challenges the family is facing. In one entitled “A secure and stable
Rwandan family, our pride, our heritage”. It brought together members of
Parliament and various institutions including Ministries, local administrative
entities, civil society, representatives of faith-based organizations,
international non-governmental organizations, family representatives, and other
partners for adopting strategies and means to face the challenges facing the
Rwandan family, as well as assessing the responsibilities and the role of each
organ and each partner to fast-track sustainable development based on a secure
and stable family. Participants to the consultative meeting held discussions on
the various presentations and proposed solutions that could help improve the
paradigm shift strategies that [10]can
be adopted as part of building a safe and stable family. Legislators as the
ones that put in place laws that the whole Rwandan society follow, it is
important they first learn in depth the problems that families are facing. This
shows the commitment that the government through one of its branches put in
heart the spirit of finding solutions to the problems the family is facing.
In the views of the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion
(MIGEPROF), The main challenges that the Rwandan family is facing is the fact
that parents have a tendency to be busy and give little time to parenting
sessions aimed at instilling children with positive cultural values and
practices that will enable them to appropriately fit in the community and equip
them with the Rwandan cultural identity wherever they go. This mainly results
into generations that are not aware of their rich cultural heritage and that
are consistently tempted to copy foreign cultural practices and norms that are
not always appropriate for their society.[11]
But we can ask ourselves do the parents have the so-called culture. Couldn’t even
the idea of culture had changed?
Families in Rwanda are facing challenges in all conners. Divorce
rates in Rwanda have seen a notable rise in recent years, with multiple factors
contributing to this trend. Adultery and gender-based violence are among the
most common reasons cited by Rwandans when filing for divorce. The Rwanda
Judiciary Report of 2022/2023 indicates a steady increase in the number of
divorce cases. In 2016, there were only 21 divorce requests, but this number
rose to 69 in 2017 and skyrocketed to 1,311 in 2018. In 2019, 8,941 couples
were granted divorce according to the National Institute of Statistics (NISR). The
number of requests for divorce increased by 3,213 in 2020 while the 2021-2022
Judicial Affairs Report recorded a total of 3,322 applications. The number is
expected to continue rising in 2023, indicating a notable shift in society.[12]
Article 218 of the 2016 law governing persons and family
provides for grounds of divorce. These are: adultery; desertion for a period of
at least twelve (12) consecutive months; conviction for an offense severely
tainting the honour; refusal to provide for the household needs; excess, abuse
or serious insults by one towards another; gender-based violence; de facto
separation for a period of at least two (2) years; non-cohabitation for more
than twelve consecutive (12) months from the day of celebration of marriage on
unjustifiable grounds. However, separation following mistreatment of one of the
spouses may not be considered as desertion when he/she has informed the nearest
local administration and a record relating thereto has been drawn.[13]
Unfortunately we got on the point of providing in the law the grounds of
divorce. When we had a good motivation in the beginning to starting a family in
the oasis of love and determination to build a family that is the foundation of
our society.
When a married couple splits up, parents may endure so much
struggle but children bare a huge burden too. Dealing with such a sensitive
situation as a child can come with an exponential number of effects. Psychological effect reaches children
of the divorced parents, Children with divorced parents are likely to have
depression, anxiety and stress. They tend to worry a lot because of how they
saw their parents fight and argue before they divorced. They also tend to not
want being yelled at, so they run away from such to avoid being affected. Not
only that even intellectual effects appear. Some children too who end up living
with step parents having other children, tend to have conflicts among the
family. Parents cannot be strict with their step children to avoid problems,
and this has an impact on their education and behaviour. There are even social
effects. Children of divorce are scared of being social and even engaging in
the dating life because of what their parents went through. They are convinced
that what happened to their parents will happen to them as well. They are
afraid of getting married thinking that their partners will beat them up or
they might do it, they are convinced of not having stability just like their
parents.[14]
To have a productive family that provides a place of peace
and a real sense of home, we should prepare how our families will be before we
prepare the weeding. Love is the main ingredient but we should also plan about
the development of the relationship emotionally, financially and spiritually. To start a family as the foundation of the Rwandan
society, we should prepare, plan and pray before we start the project of
establishing a family. The value of the family might be decreasing, but the hope
is not ley lost.
[2]
Book: Culture and customs of Rwanda by Julius O. Adekunle
[3] CONSTITUTION
OF THE REPUBLIC OF RWANDA Official Gazette n° Special of 04/08/2023, Article 17
[4] CONSTITUTION
OF THE REPUBLIC OF RWANDA Official Gazette n° Special of 04/08/2023, Article 18
[5] CONSTITUTION
OF THE REPUBLIC OF RWANDA Official Gazette n° Special of 04/08/2023, Article 19
[6] Law
governing persons and family Official Gazette nº37 of 12/09/2016, Article 2
[7] https://www.migeprof.gov.rw/index.php?eID=dumpFile&t=f&f=66103&token=832d0ebd47ad1b219b379821978defab0564eb17
[10] https://www.parliament.gov.rw/news-detail?tx_news_pi1%5Baction%5D=detail&tx_news_pi1%5Bcontroller%5D=News&tx_news_pi1%5Bnews%5D=7791&cHash=0d266d4f75ef0742555e54215e2a6ad8
[13] Law
Nº32/2016 of 28/08/2016 governing persons and family, Article 218
Well done! The divorce numbers are brain washing from fingers to thousands!
ReplyDeleteGot something new_Haguruka, Thank you.
I would love a field-based case study for what exactly causing the shifts, and yes to depict whether the culture has changed or not, if not do people have it rooted in them?
What can exactly be the antidote to this as you showed that the country lies on the family?